the conversation that bug me

in the new office, there's IT director who's obsessed to be a psychiatrist I supposed,
the IT boss always said that I have a flat emotion.
then, yesterday, I went for another client meeting with the IT boss, and my boss, meeting 14.30, we left the office at 11.30 for having a lunch first

then the conversation start again...
the IT boss : "eh, sekarang lagi flat yaaa emosinya"
me : "halah, ini lagiiii, iya sih, emang ga ada apa" yaaa gitu lha"
the IT boss : "lo kapan terakhir nangis?, pasti itungannya tahun ya?"
me : *hah! kali ini salah lo* "gak, mungkin setaon kurang"
the IT boss : "nangis kenapa? karena kesel? karena marah?"
me : "errr, karena terjadi pelecehan di bis, yaaa karena terlalu marah juga sih"
the IT boss:"sebelum itu kapan nangis?"
me : "gak inget, gwe kan bukan bayi, jadi wajar dong kalo jarang nangis"

the IT boss *kekeuh* : "kalo misal, seminggu lagi dunia kiamat, trus lo boleh ngelakuin apa aja, lo mo ngapain?"
me : "haaahh??? ngapain yaaa???"
the IT boss : *lol* "lo gak ada keinginan yaaa???"
my boss : "rifka, masa lo gak mo ngapain gituh? seminggu lagi kiamat"
me : *dalam hati : ngapain heboh, mo kiamat juga*
tapi gwe malah ngomong : "uhmmm kell eropa kali ya.."
my boss : "lhooo, kawin aja kaliiii, lo blom kawin gituh"
me : kalo tinggal seminggu, kayaknya gwe pilih kell eropa"

the IT boss popped another question : "kalo lo besok mati, sekarang boleh ngapain aja, lo mo ngapain?"
me : *hadoohh* "kalo jujur, paling gwe mo nya tidur, mo mati juga"
the IT boss : *lol* "kalo gwe besok mati, gwe mah mo makan es krim yang banyak, sambil ngebir, sambil nonton striptease"
the IT boss : "gillaaa yaaa lo gak punya keinginan bangett, kalo kata pendeta budha lo mo masuk nirwana"
me : *aga gak terima, masalahnya ada bos gwe juga disitu, takut berdampak*
"ada kok keinginan, tapi yaaa kalo besok mati,mo ngapain, nothing really matters juga, mo mati juga, why bother, gak kecapai juga gpp"
the IT boss : "waaa lo kayak superman, cuma kalo superman badan lo jiwa, jiwa lo kalo ditembak gak mempan, gak bakal sakit, soalnya lo gak ada keinginan"
me : "ohhh... ituuu, gwe emang gak pernah put too much expectation to anything apalagi to anyone, makanya kalo dikecewain pun gwe gak marah, abis mikir yaaa sudah lah, emang normal kok orang begitu, tapi bukan berarti gwe gak punya keinginan ya bos"
the IT boss : "huaahahhahaha kyak sufi lo, lo suka ice cream kan? yoo kita es krim"
me : "I dont find it as compliment bos, tapi hayoo kalo makan es krim"

I started to think...
is it so wrong for not having any too much expectation?
it's just my defense mechanism...
is it so wrong for not wanting too much on sumthing, when you know you'll die anyway tomorrow, I just think, why bother?
Even if I'm not angry when being disappointed, I have another defense mechanism, just leave it!
I'm lucky to have a choice to leave something I don't like, because I know some people don't

argghhh....
I feel really bothered for being accused not having any dream... or "keinginan" they might said

pagi kelabu

alarm nokia berbunyi *tulilut*
mata menolak melek dong..., tanpa melihat jam, alarm langsung gwe stop!
memaksa melek dan melihat ke kisi-kisi jendela...
berfikir keras....
mengambil kesimpulan...
ha? gwe salah set alarm kali ya?? ke set jam 3 instead of 6 kali ya??
sial!! dingin banget lagi! mata pun tertutup tanpa diperintah...

*gak tau berapa menit berlalu...*
kamar gwe diketok dengan dahsyat!
"kaakkkk, udah jam 7 kurang 10!! tar ditinggal lho!!!"

secara jam gak keliatan karena gelap, gwe liat kisi" jendela lagi...
berfikir keras...
mengambil kesimpulan...
pasti nyokap ngibulin gwe nie, biar gwe bangun, duuuu maaa, udah 23 tahun kayaknya gwe sering dikibulin kalo soal bangun pagi, udahhh apal kaliiiiii
lima menit lagi ah meremnya...

trus nyokap tetep brutal dengan ketokannya,
akhirnya... gwe bangun, nyalain lampu, dan taraaaaa
it's really ten to seven

akhirnya... dengan rambut yang teramat basah, gwe lariii ke tempat bertemu dengan bos buat nebeng a.k.a jadi joki!!
adeknya bos gwe bilang, "uda diangkatin jemuran mbak?? kayak pembantu lo keluar rambut basah-basah, gak punya hairdryer?"
gwe cuma bilang, ohh pagi ku yang kelabuuuu niiiihhhh

forever seems too long yaaa

tipical, abis single yang rada kenceng trus ke slow mellow,
tapiiii aku sukaaaa, sukaaa sekaliiiii

nothing last forever
maroon 5

[ref. only]

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

bahasa indonesia

1st day @ new job
YM conversation
boss : tolong buatin email ke pak X kalo ada orang kita mo kerja weekend, biar ada waspangnya
me : ok
me : pake bahasa apa? indonesia apa inggris?
boss : indonesia aja
me : ok

when start writing the email....

holy cow!!! I can not do this!!! gila! susah banget ya bikin imel formal pake bahasa indonesia, ga ada ide banget, pas setelah setengah jam berlalu....

me asked the boss to see the email first,
the boss said, kurang formal, gak bisa bikin begitu sama orang pt.x

me re-write the the email, sent for another review,
the boss said, errrr gimana yaaa masih kurang formal

after 4 times reviewing my according-to-me-formal email in Bahasa
the boss said, err.... gimana kalo gini emailnya....

at the end, the boss is the one who write the email,
then the boss YM me,
the boss : besok kirim imel pake inggris aja ya
me : haaaa iyaaahhhh, susah kalo pake bahasa indo
me : lebih enak pake bhs inggris buat formal"
the boss : untung lo nanganin pt.x yang emang suka inggris, kalo lo nanganin pt.y harus selalu indonesia lho
me : ga tau kenapa, tapi gwe emang lumayan beruntung kalo soal kerjaan :D

payung

new addiction :

[Jay-Z] & [Rihanna]

You have my heart And we'll never be worlds apart
May be in magazines But you'll still be my star
Baby cause in the dark You can't see shiny cars
And that's when you need me there With you I'll always share
Because
[Chorus]
When there's sunshine, we'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella

These fancy things, will never come in between
You're part of my entity, here for Infinity
When the war has took it's part
When the world has dealt it's cards If the hand is hard,
together we'll mend your heart
Because


eiya, waterway udah jadi,
trus nanti kalo mo ngomong jadi
bay de way water wey deh bukan bay de wey bus way

relationship

this is a story about a materialistic girl who's trying to get a new way of thinking and living a life

the story begin...
the girl has a two years realtionship with this guy 1, the guy has:
- fully loaded guy, the guy can buy her shoes, diamonds, facilitate a good life, and so on and so forth
- celebrity!, it's fun to bring the guy arround, or when ppl ask "who is your boyfriend?"
he's like a genuine prada bag, and all ppl know it's a genuine prada bag
- fun fun personality
but, the girl actually doesn't really into the guy, so when the guy cheat her, he decided to quit! cause she thought "being a lover for him is a job she doesn't needed".

then in her free single time.... guy 2 come out of nowhere beyond her expectation
the girl soon fall for him, he's really really the girl type, the girl knew she will be happy with this guy,
though guy 2 has less money and so-so face (like a nice ITC bag when the girl bring the guy arround), but she's happy, and she thought "money is not everything, and I have more money than I needed though less than I wanted"

But then ...
guy 3 come, he's very tempting and has good potential to like the girl
guy 3 has more to offer, even more than what the girl want
if the guy 1 like a genuine prada,
guy 3 like a limited-only-made-for-you-and-mariah-carey Prada
*why would I pick MC for this story*
so if the girl chooses guy 3, she get more money than what she hoped for, pride, and so on and so forth, but she knew,
she won't love guy 3 as much as guy 2, but she also knew,
having a more loaded guy than guy 1, will give guy 1 a sweet revenge which served cold

will the girl defends her love and decided not to live in anger and being a money slave?
currently, the girl won't even try to get close to the guy 3,
since deep down, she wished to marry the guy 2, but...
"money and prada bag does tempting" she thought

end of story...

~samethingAppliedHere
~withDifferentView...